wow, I'm human.

I'm getting to be in touch with my emotional side and it's nice to feel alive.

don't get ahead of yourself. This doesn't mean they, meaning my emotions,  physically present themselves. 

You're just gonna have to take my word for it. 

A v L o I i V d E

50 degrees

I write this out of frustration, but am listening to the beautiful music of Philip Glass to keep me chilled. 

I was in the car with a friend who is also a music snob. It seems that all the music snobs I know hate U2 and Coldplay. I brought up this idea that it kinda seems that Chris Martin and Bono are the same as far as people liking them go. My friend of course states that he hates both, but went particularly on about Bono. He hates Bono because he believes he is a humanitarian for publicity reasons. At the end of this talk, I came away feeling like my friend would almost like Bono if it weren't for his "image" of being, you know, a good guy.

55 degrees.

While at work yesterday a U2 song came on. I know that my coworker doesn't like U2, so I said something along the lines of  " oh hey, it's your favorite band."  Of course he repudiates that statement with saying that he hates them. Ya, that's fine, I don't have a problem with that. This is where I have the problem. He continues to say that he thinks Bono is a great musician, and a great singer, but hates what he stands for. I kind of jokingly ask if he hates that he does stuff in Africa to help the aids issue. Yes. Yes? I don't think I could have heard him right, yes? He continues to say that he doesn't like Bono's image, and how he does all that stuff to boost album sales. He'd rather somebody else do it that's doing it for the right reasons,whereas Bono is clearly doing it for all the wrong reasons. 

I don't get it.

First off, I'm about positive that neither of these people actually know Bono to know his real intentions. I wouldn't doubt that there are a lot of people that feel the same way. 

Secondly, do these people realize what they are saying? do they? do you? They would rather have nothing done at all than to have some celebrity do it for publicity. Who freakin' cares?! At least all the millions of money Bono has got is going towards good causes, and he's using his celebrity to be pro-activ and get things done. If it truly is not what you know, but who you know, who better to do something humanitarian than a celebrity?

If he wanted to boost album sales, there'd be other ways to go about it. Even so, people aren't gonna buy your music, especially if they don't like it, just because you're a good person. They'll buy your music if they like it. 

60 degrees.

I realize my argument is not exactly strong here, but in my opinion the opposing side doesn't even have an argument. 

I guess I just wish people would look at the big picture more often before passing judgement, and listen to what it is they are saying.

-thisisashittyendingbutthisis The End.

Ignorance is Bliss, Life is Selfish.

I know what is on my mind, but I don't know how to approach typing about it. Please be patient, afterall, it is a virtue. 

A friend of mine once wrote a blog and it's stuck with me ever since I read it, probably at least 3 years ago. She questioned whether life could ever really be selflessly lived. 

I was thinking about the relationship between people that have a significant age difference, and why it's so attractive. My very basic breakdown was that the younger is drawn in because of the wisdom the older has; the older is drawn in because if the naivety of the younger one. I mean to shine positive light on being naive. That's pretty simply understood, right? yes. So then I thought about why people have kids.

Why do people want to have kids? I wonder what the most common response is to that answer, among people who are expecting, or want to have kids in the future. I'm quite curious. I feel like people don't really know why they want to have kids, but they surely know why they don't want to have kids.  You meet someone who says they don't want to have kids and you immediately ask why not, but you meet someone who says they want kids and you don't ask them why. 

wait, wait, wait. No, I kind of take that back. I feel like the status of the person kind of plays into the follow  up of "why," or "why not?" For instance, single or married, old or young, you'd probably inquire why a person wouldn't want kids. You'd probably only ask why a person would want kids if they were single/young. That rings true in my life, at least. I never asked my married siblings why they wanted kids., but I did ask my single and young friend why she wanted kids. 

She would honestly just like to get married and have kids ASAP. We are the same age and this is one thing we strongly disagree on. I guess I feel like we're so young and have hardly experienced life, let alone pass it onto one of our own. Her take was different in that your life really truly begins once you have kids. 

I know that extending your genes isn't always something planned, BUT, when it is, is it done out of selfish reasons without us fully realizing it? I know, this seems completely ridiculous because having a child can be about the most selfless thing you can do, right? (well, that is, if the kid is born for the right reasons. IE: not getting pregnant to keep the unsure boyfriend around).  You sacrifice a lot when you have a child, but in the end you get back all you gave up. You learn so much about yourself, and life, and people through the eyes of a child. They don't censor themselves at all, which kind of sparks a new attitude in yourself. Their ignorance is bliss, and we just want to be happy. Right? Their ignorance can bring us bliss.

Can it really be that one of the most selfless things you can do can also be the most selfish?

I don't think life can ever truly be selflessly lived.

***this is a very rough idea that I just kinda was thinking about tonight. I hope you can digest it's blood okay, I know it's raw. I also hope you can forgive my, well, ignorance. 

I'd rather wake up hungover than go to bed drunk

I really don't eat fast food ever. Seriously. Tonight I ate fast food but I didn't fully commit. That's correct! I got a kids meal. Haha, ya..didn't fully commit, whatever. It didn't quite fulfill my craving of cheap American Chinese, but it fulfilled the ache in my stomach. Thanks Burger King, even if your commercials are totally creepy. BTW I was a complete badass, too.  I drove one block going against a one-way street. MAN it kills me how much I live life on the edge sometimes. I need to get a tattoo of barbwire across my biceps.

I need to mention the fact that I've felt strangely emotional lately. I felt as if I almost might cry twice in one week. I never ever express my emotions and they almost poured out of me tonight and a week ago tomorrow. It's so odd, so so odd. I'm trying to figure out what might have changed to have made me feel more expressive as of late. hmmmmm. Curious. I hope I don't get killed.  I'm not a cat. 

alright, well. G'nite.